This morning, as I was driving to go pick Brent up to go to our 28 week Dr. apt., I was overwhelmed with my circumstances (in a good way)-- I was drinking my glucose drink and driving down a road that 10 months ago, our lives were so different. I remember turning on the same street street and talking on the phone to my mom those 10 months ago, saying "I just feel like life is about to get hard". Today, this song came on the radio and reminded me of God's grace and provision over our lives- and as I joyfully drank this orange drink (meaning we have made it to 27+ weeks of pregnancy), I couldn't help but tearfully rejoice- So, I put this next part on our blog, not for sympathy for where we were, but for Brent and I to remember how God tested our faith then and how He tests us now-- all for his glory!
Our biggest surprise last year was finding out in October that my uterus was misshapen. I went to the Dr. for an unrelated pain and a sonogram revealed this 'anomaly'. Immediately we were told it could be difficult for me to carry a baby to full term and to get ready for heart break- this from one of Dallas’s finest fertility specialists. Needless to say, I was spinning for days and trying to grasp God's lessons, knowing that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. To hear Brent tell me he loved me no matter what, babies or no babies, was a relief, to say the least. I think at this moment, we both realized the depth of our love for each other and the thankfulness to God for bringing us together. We tearfully hung on to this news several weeks without telling our families since we didn’t know the extent of what all this meant—I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for our situation until we knew what we were dealing with. My Dr. quickly scheduled an MRI to reveal it wasn't as bad as originally suggested. It was operable and a better situation to be in, but I would most likely have endometriosis in conjunction with a misshaped, septate uterus. I had surgery in November, the week after thanksgiving (my boss was the only one who knew what was going on so we just made it into a long thanksgiving vacation to dodge questions from coworkers/ HR that I did not want to answer). Surgery was a complete success (this type of surgery-- removing a tissue mass that spilt my uterus in half- was my Dr.'s first one due to being so rare)-- after I came out of surgery, my Dr. told me with tears in her eyes that I did not have endometriosis, yet another answered prayer to a complication that I did not have to experience. It was a great day! My mom came up and helped me through recovery of a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy, and healing of scars where extra tissue was removed to double the size of my uterus to 'normal'. The internal scarring was the only unknown left—they inflated a balloon in my uterus so that scaring would not affect healthy surrounding tissue and I went on hormone therapy for a month. Just 3 months later, with our heart’s desire now set on being a family, we became pregnant! We waited to tell friends until 12 weeks in the event that preterm labor might occur if the baby had attached to the scar tissue from surgery. We were overjoyed at the seeing how God carried us through those past months and choose us to be parents to what we will know will be the greatest challenge and gift of our lives! We are convinced of God’s provision for us, HIS children, thus far, and trust wherever he takes us in the future.So back to today. The song that was so fitting on the radio was Mercy Me's "Bring on the Rain":
I can count a million times
People asking me how
I Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
We got to our Dr. apt this morning, they took my weight (7# since last time... whoah!), and my blood to measure the glucose levels. As we were waiting for those results, Dr. Sigman measured my belly (I am measuring a week ahead!) and listened to the heartbeat. As we did, we all heard a little irregularity every 4th beat. So, Dr. Sigman sent us over to the Fetal Cardiologist to measure the heart and determine if this was serious or a regular abnormality that happens to some babies. Dr. Weiss measured our baby's head, legs, arms, brain activity, and heart. We got to watch and hear the blood flow in and out of the heart and watched the EKG where the flutter was. Luckily, the Dr. thinks this is benign and should fix itself before or at birth. I did fail my 1 hour blood glucose test, so I go in on Wednesday for the 3 hour test. Please pray for those results as hopefully that can be a complication we can avoid. After the cardiologist sonogram, we went back to get our 4D sono, but by the time we got there, baby had turned around, so we couldn't get a clear picture of the face. We are scheduled to go back in 2 weeks to try again.
All of this to say, we are in waiting mode until more tests are run... we are thankful for these road blocks that remind us to stay faithful to God who brought us here, and know he has wonderful provisions ahead for our family. Praise the Lord for rain and for refining us. What an amazing way to prepare us for the huge task of being parents to the little one he is entrusting to us!
